earlier today i was thinking of a man i’ve loved deeply since the day we met. today is his birthday and even after all this time, i don’t love him any less than the instant i melted into loving him completely. for a moment it felt bittersweet, as if he was “the love of my life” or that love like that is something singular and no longer available to my open heart, soft gaze or tender palms…
then i realized love is not an experience nor was my past lover a place that love was found and lost. love is not a contraction – something to hold onto or release…
love is a field of awareness that expands out to touch all that is – interconnected with everything else…
collected moments of rapture, a particular lover, all serve to touch into a pre-cellular memory of timelessness. they are a keyhole to glimpse into the landscape of the infinite that we so often blind ourselves to by so many distractions, contractions, the naming of things, regurgitation and re-stimulation of past hurts…
i want to be a storybook floor-to ceiling window, a highway to the infinite. i want that any seeker can wander through the broadway of my heart and land in the arms of the beloved, sweetly embraced by the entire cosmos, held unconditionally. whole. complete. loved entirely. viscerally at home.
love is the field. thinking (even for the briefest of moments) that it is lost with my past lover is like saying a mountain is no more because of the displacement of a single grain of sand. i have love. it is what i’m made of, where i come from and where i seek to forever return. heart emoticon
happy birthday beating heart of the collective consciousness. with you i will always remain
ps. i love you
pss. YOU.
YES! You.
♥,
~ artemisia shine