Category Archives: Yoga

Reiki and the “Perfect” Moment

Aside

Grrrrr. Oh yes, we can get petty.

This is not the Cleaver family… Oh yes, we can get petty.

Last night my teenage son asked me to reiki him.
 
I can count on one hand the amount of times he has made this request. I have offered many times when he is in pain or struggling with something but usually I get a swift and clear “no.” When I get a “yes” it is usually a “yes, but maybe later” and the later never comes. Yesterday evening the timing was rough; I was exhausted, irritable, we had been arguing and were generally discontent. (Actually, I was probably more discontent with him. I tend to hold onto the feelings of Gggrrrrrrrrrr far longer than he does.) I had shit to do. It was inconvenient. It was late. I had clients to respond to. I wasn’t internally at peace. I wanted him to go to bed.
 
All that aside, I said yes. His asking is such a rare event that it necessitated me to pause, re-organize from the inside, release my irritation and pettiness and recognize the gift of his asking. My burning desire is to to deeply and compassionatly show up for him AND show up for myself. Navigating the two sometimes feels like walking on a tight-rope balanced over a pit of hungry lions. The hungry lions are my expectations of him and myself, my limitations as a single-mama and fallible human being. They feed on my shame, guilt, exhaustion, resentment, self-judgment and inner reproach… (And that’s the short list!) I would love to tell you that we easily navigate this territory and I show up as super-mom all the fucking time. The truth is, I fall short of my own expectations far more often than I rise to the occasion and being human is one of my biggest flaws I have yet to consistently accept.
 
Reiki is love. Sharing reiki is intimate, unconditional, soft and receptive. Reiki asks me to trust and allow life energy to flow thru me, free from resistance and with the tenderest of full-body presence. It is interesting to note how much harder and more vulnerable it is to share this part of myself with my closest friends and family. Stranger in need of support and some reiki? No problem! Where do I sign up? Someone I really love asking for hands-on-healing attention? Eeeeekkk!!! Aaaggghhh!!! (What if I’m not good enough? What if they don’t feel anything? What if it doesn’t ‘work’? What if they don’t like it? What if they judge me? What if… [insert any number of questions that invalidate my worth and question my lovability and gifts.]) When my loved ones want reiki, I tend to want to wait for the perfect moment when I am just the right balance of calm, grounded, rested, spacious, internally at peace and full from the inside out. In other words, I want to wait until I am perfect. I keep trying for it but the bar keeps getting higher and I haven’t arrived there yet. 
 
Sooooo…. With all that running in the background, I got him on my table, put my hands on him and flowed reiki wherever it wanted to go. I would love to tell you it was magical and we shared this really sweet, connective, transformative moment. In reality I was stilted and awkward. I fumbled around and accidentally flung my tuning forks across the room in a cacophony of clanging mayhem. My stool slid out from under me and I stumbled into the table. He responded by laughing and saying “Wow Mom. That’s relaxing! 😉 Good thing it’s me and I’m not one of your clients!”
 
I wanted for him to drop in, deeply relax and settle into his body. Instead, he talked the whole time, kept his eyes open, wiggled around and sometimes grabbed my hands and adjusted my touch. 
 
He talked the whole time.
He never got silent.
He shared about his history class and the things he is inspired to learn in his new school. He shared gratitude for some of the boundaries I have had with him that he previously resisted. (“I am sooooo glad you have limited my sugar intake and not let me eat junk food and soda growing up! I just watched Fed Up! and the amount of sugar in those things is horrifying!”) He asked me to watch a documentary with him that he found particularly compelling. As he talked about his day to day experience of middle school, I realized that lately I haven’t made the time and space to really listen. He talked the whole time. I got a chance to really listen.
 
He kept his eyes open.
Much of the time his eyes were on me. When I let my gaze soften he smiled and looked directly into my eyes. He initiated and maintained eye contact while I was reiki-ing him, belly up on my massage table. He was vulnerable and soft without my having to ask for it. This is a teenage being that has shared with me so many times how ‘intense and piercing’ my direct eye contact is. This is a kid that generally avoids sustained eye gaze – especially with me, especially because I crave it. He kept his eyes open, let them meet mine, and voluntarily chose to rest them there.
 
He wiggled around and adjusted my touch.
My itty-bitty-shitty-committee tried to hold court in my mind. I had a story running that maybe I was doing it wrong (judging myself) or that he was resistant and un-receptive (judging him.) At some point I realized he was letting me know exactly what he needed and in moving my hands he was asking for just that. He was valuing himself enough to get his needs met and trusting me enough to let me know how to help. This is a person that I deeply love and this person is showing me how to do just that in the way that would support them the most. He gave himself permission to adjust my touch and I got the opportunity to meet his requests. <3
 
This morning as he was cooking a fried egg inside the cookie-cutter star removed hole in his toast, he leaned over the fry pan and said, “You know Mom, I actually feel better. I tend to dismiss reiki as “woo-woo” but it actually worked. My headache is gone. My back doesn’t hurt anymore. I slept really well and I feel a lot more calm. Thank you. I guess reiki works; it really helped.”
 

I couldn’t help but smile from the inside out. “You’re welcome baby. I am happy to reiki you as often as you like.” And you know what? I meant it. Even though he talked the whole time, kept his eyes open, wiggled around and sometimes grabbed my hands and adjusted my touch, I really meant it. Maybe there is no perfect magical moment ripe for transcendent connection other than the ordinary opportunities that present themselves in the midst of our daily chaos. Maybe I don’t need to be super-mom or super-human. Maybe being fallible is the best I have to offer and it actually can be enough. Maybe showing up for all of that is exactly what sweet, connective, transformative moments look like for us. <3

~ artemisia shine

Artemisia Shine is an Intuitive Healer, Yoga Therapist, Reiki Master, Counselor & Day Maker. She works with individuals and groups as a transformational ally. She LOVES helping people honor the intelligence of their hearts, reconnect with their innate body-wisdom & live in enthusiastic alignment with their soul-level desires. At the time of this writing, she still contends with being human and has to put on her tights on one leg at a time. 

Sanskrit/English Poses

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♥ Sanskrit/English Poses

“The vibrational purity and resonating power of Sanskrit is above all an opera on a grand cosmic scale that you can sing with your whole heart and being.”  ~Vyass Houston

All of life resonates at a specific vibration.  Sanskrit is considered to be one of the oldest languages on earth, comprised of sacred sounds of rhythm, melody and harmony. The Sanskrit names for the physical asanas, or yoga poses, were crafted to reflect the essential nature of that which they describe. The seed sounds, or bijas, that make up each Sanskrit title for a particular yoga pose, carry a unique and intentional frequency. Perfect pronunciation of these bijas resonate with the essential vibration of the universe itself. To call an asana aloud in Sanskrit while aligning yourself in that particular posture is a tangible way to deeply explore the energy of that pose while unifying sound and physical sensation.

I invite us all to welcome more Sanskrit into our lives!  🙂

I offer below a work in progress – I am compiling a list of yoga poses with their corresponding English names.
♥ I will update this as time allows. ♥

 

Sanskrit ame

Pronunciation

English Translation

Also Called

Classification

Dwi Pada Pitham dvee Pa-da PEET-ham dwi = two; pada = foot; pitha = stool,  chair Two-legged Table Supine Pose, Vinyasa
Savasana shah-VAHS-anna sava = corpse Corpse Pose, Final Resting Pose Supine Pose
Supta Baddha Konasana BAH-dah-cone-AHS-anna supta= resting, reclining, sleeping; baddha = bound; kona = angle Reclining Bound Angle Pose Supine Pose
Supta Virasana    soup-tah veer-AHS-anna supta= resting, reclining, sleeping; vira = a hero, brave Reclining Hero Pose Supine Pose
Virabhadrasana II               vira = a hero, brave; Virabhadra = name of a fierce mythical warrior said to have 1,000 heads, eyes, arms & legs Warrior II Pose Standing, hip opener
Parivrtta Trikonasana      par-ee-vrit-tah trik-cone-AHS-anna parivrtta = twist, revolve, turned around; tri = three; kona = angle Revolved Triangle Pose Standing Pose, Twisting Pose
Prasarita Padottanasana                  prasarita = spread out, expanded; pada = foot, leg; uttana = stretched out/over, an intense stretch Wide-Legged Forward Bend Standing Pose, Inversion, Forward Bend
Virabhadrasana I   vira = a hero, brave; Virabhadra = name of a fierce mythical warrior said to have 1,000 heads, eyes, arms & legs Warrior I Pose Standing Pose, Hip Opening, Backbend
Utthita Trikonasana oo-TEE-tah trik cone-NAHS-anna utthita = extended; tri = three, kona = angle Triangle pose, Extended Triangle Pose Standing Pose, Hip Opening
Parsvottanasana parsva = side, flank, lateral; uttana = stretched out/over, an intense stretch Intense Side Stretch Pose, Pyramid Pose Standing Pose, Forward Bend
Uttanasana            uttana = stretched out/over, an intense stretch Standing Forward Fold Standing Pose, Forward Bend
Garudasana          garuda = eagle, fierce predatory bird – (said to be the Hindu god Vishnu’s vehicle) Eagle Pose Standing Pose, Balance Pose
Supta Padangusthasana supta= resting, reclining, sleeping; pada = foot, leg; angustha = big toe Reclining Big Toe Pose Standing pose, balance pose
Virabhadrasana III             vira = a hero, brave; Virabhadra = name of a fierce mythical warrior said to have 1,000 heads, eyes, arms & legs Warrior III Pose Standing Pose, Balance Pose
Vrksasana              vrksa = tree Tree Pose Standing Pose, Balance Pose
Natarajasana not-ah-raj-AHS-anna nata = dancer; raja = king Lord of the Dance Pose, King Dancer Pose Standing Pose, Back bend, Balance
Adho Mukha Savasana AH-doh MOO-kah shvah-NAHS-anna adho-mukha = face downward Downward-Facing Dog, Down Dog Standing Pose
Parivrtta Baddha Parsvakonasana par-ee-vrit-tah  BAH-dah parivrtta = twist, revolve, turned around; baddha = bound; parsva = side, flank, lateral; kona = angle Revolved Side Angle Pose (w/ bind); Standing Pose
Parivrtta Parsvakonasana par-ee-vrt-tah parsh-vah-cone-AHS-anna parivrtta = twist, revolve, turned around; parsva = side, flank, lateral; kona = angle Revolved Side Angle Pose; Standing Pose
Tadasana                tada = mountain Mountain Pose Standing Pose
Upavesasana upavistha = seated Standing Pose
Utkatasana  utkatha = fierce, furious Chair Pose Standing Pose
Utthita Hasta Padangustasana     utthita = extended; hasta = hand; pada = foot, leg, angustha = big toe Extended Hand-To-Big-Toe Pose, Standing Big Toe Pose Standing Pose
Utthita Parsvakonasana                    cone-NAHS-anna utthita = extended; parsva = side, flank, lateral; kona = angle Extended Side Angle Pose Standing Pose
Upavistha Konasana           oo-pah-VEESH-tah-cone-AHS-anna  upavistha = seated; kona = angle Wide-Angle Seated Forward Bend, Seated Wide Legged Straddle Seated Pose; Forward Bend
Ardha Matsyendrasana                    ARD-hah MOTS-yen-DRAHS-anna ardha = half; matsya = fish; indra = ruler, lord Half Lord of the Fishes Pose Seated Pose, Twist
Parivrtta Janu Sirsasana par-ee-vrit-tah JAH-new shear-SHAHS-anna parivrtta = twist, revolve, turned around; janu = knee; shiras = to touch with the hand Revolved Head-to-Knee Pose Seated Pose, Twist
Janu Sirsasana    JAH-new shear-SHAHS-anna janu = knee; shiras = to touch with the hand Head-to-Knee Forward Bend Seated Pose, Forward Bend
Kurmasana koor-MAHS-anna kurma = tortise; turtle Turtle Pose Seated Pose, Forward Bend
Paschimottanasana         POS-chee-moh-tan-AHS-anna pascha = behind, westward facing; uttana = stretched out/over, an intense stretch Seated Forward Bend Seated Pose, Forward Bend
Supta Kurmasana koor-MAHS-anna supta = resting; kurma = tortoise, turtle Reclining Turtle Pose Seated Pose, Forward Bend
Mulabandhasana moola-ban-DHAS-anna mula = root, foundation; bandha = binding, tying Pose of the Root Lock Seated Pose (for pranayama)
Baddha Konasana               BAH-dah-cone-AHS-anna baddha = bound; kona = angle Bound Angle Pose, Cobbler’s Pose Seated Pose
Dandasana            dan-DAHS-anna danda = staff Staff Pose Seated Pose
Gomukhasana    go-moo-KAHS-anna go= cow; mukha = face Cow Face Pose Seated Pose
Mahamudra ma-ha-MOO-dra maha = great, mighty, strong; mudra = sealing, shutting, closing The Great Seal Seated Pose
Padmasana           pod-MAHS-anna padma = lotus Lotus Pose Seated Pose
Siddhasana sid-DHAS-anna siddha = a sage, profet, proven Adept’s Pose Seated Pose
Sukhasana             suk-HAS-anna sukha = delight, joy, pleasure/ sukhata = comfort Easy Pose Seated Pose
Svastikasana sva-steek-AHS-ana svasa= inspiration Auspicious Pose Seated Pose
Hanumanasana                    ha-NEW-mahn-AHS-anna hunuman = name of the devine chief of monkeys that served Rama Monkey Pose Seated Pose
Balasana                 BAH-las-anna bala = infant Child’s Pose Kneeling Pose, Forward Bend
Eka Pada Rajakapotasana                 eh-KAH pad-DAH rah-JAH-cop-poh-TAHS-anna eka = one; pada = foot, leg ; raja = king;  kapota = dove, pigeon One-Legged King Pigeon Pose Kneeling Pose, Backbend
Parighasana         par-ee-GOSS-anna parigha = a beam or bar used for locking a gate Gate Pose, Gate-Latch Pose Kneeling Pose
Simhasana sim-HAHS-anna simha = lion Lion Pose Keeling Pose, Jaw Stretch
Adho Mukha Vrksasana Ah-doh moo-kah vriks-SHAHS-anna adho-mukha = face downward; vrksa = tree Handstand Inversion
Ustrasana              oosh-TRAHS-anna ustra = camel Camel Pose Backbend,  Kneeling Pose,
  Sphinx Pose Backbend
Ardha Bhekasana                ARD-hah ardha = half; Half Frog Pose Backbend
Ashtanga Namaskara Ashta = eight;  anga = limbed; namaskara = salutation, to bow, honor Knees, Chest, and Chin Backbend
Bhujangasana     boo-jang-GAHS-anna bhuja = arm, shoulder;  anga = limbed;  bhujanga = serpent, snake Cobra Pose Backbend
Bitilasana              Cow Pose Backbend
Camatkarasana Wild Thing Backbend
Dhanurasana       Bow Pose Backbend
Dwi Pada Viparita Dandasana      dwi = two; pada = foot, leg ; danda = staff Upward Facing Two-Foot Staff Pose Backbend
Kapotasana          kapota = dove, pigeon King Pigeon Pose Backbend
Matsyasana          mot-see-AHS-anna matsya = fish Fish Pose Backbend
Pincha Mayurasana           pin-cha my-your-AHS-anna piñca = feather; mayura = peacock Feathered Peacock Pose, Forearm Stand Backbend
Setu Bandha Sarvangasana sar-van-GAHS-anna bandha = binding, tying;  sarva = all; anga = limb Bridge Pose Backbend
Shalabasana sha-la-BAHS-anna salabha = grasshopper, locust Locust Pose Backbend
Urdhva Dhanurasana        OORD-vah don-your-AHS-anna Urdva = upward;  dhanu = bow Upward Bow, Wheel Pose Backbend
Urdhva Mukha Svanasana               OORD-vah MOO-kah shvon-AHS-anna Urdva = upward; mukha = face Upward-Facing Dog Backbend
Chaturanga Dandasana   chaht-tour-ANG-ah don-DAHS-anna chatur = four; anga = limbed; danda = staff Four-Limbed Staff Pose Arm Balance
  High Lunge, Variation
  High Lunge
  Dolphin Plank Pose
  Dolphin Pose
Adho Mukha Savasana Natarajasana AH-doh MOO-kah shvah-NAHS-anna adho-mukha = face downward; nata = dancer; raja = king Downward-Facing Dog Dancer Pose
Agnistambhasana Fire Log Pose
Ananda Balasana Happy Baby Pose
Anantasana Side-Reclining Leg Lift, Sleeping Vishnu Pose
Anjaneyasana     Low Lunge, Crescent Lunge Pose, Grounded Warrior I
Ardha Chandrasana          ARD-hah ardha = half; chandra = moon Half Moon Pose
Ardha Uttanasana              ARD-hah ardha = half; uttana = stretched out/over, an intense stretch Standing Half Forward Bend
Astavakrasana    ahsh-tah-vah-krahs-anna Ashta = eight;  vakra = bent, curved Eight-Angle Pose
Baddha Parighasana BAH-dah baddha = bound Bound Gate
Baddha Setu Bandha Sarvangasana BAH-dah  sar-van-GAHS-anna baddha = bound; Setu = ; bandha = binding, tying;  sarva = all; anga = limb Bound Bridge Pose, Bound Half Wheel
Bakasana                Crane Pose, Crow Pose
Bharadvajasana I                  Bharadvaja’s Twist
Bhujapidasana bhuja = arm, shoulder  Shoulder-Pressing Pose
Eka Pada Galavasana eh-KAH pad-DAH eka = one; pada = foot, leg Flying Crow Pose
Eka Pada Koundiyanasana I             eh-KAH pad-DAH eka = one; pada = foot, leg Pose Dedicated to the Sage Koundinya I
Eka Pada Koundiyanasana II            eh-KAH pad-DAH eka = one; pada = foot, leg Pose Dedicated to the Sage Koundinya II
Eka Pada Rajakapotasana II             eh-KAH pad-DAH eka = one; pada = foot, leg ; raja = king; kapota = dove, pigeon One-Legged King Pigeon Pose II
Halasana                Plow Pose
Krounchasana    Heron Pose
Kumbhakasana /Utthita Chaturanga Dandasana oot-T-HEE-tuh  chaht-tour-ANG-ah dan-DAHS-anna kumbhak = breath retention /
utthita = extended;  chatur = four; anga = limbed; danda = staff		 Plank Pose
Lolasana Pendant Pose
Malasana               Garland Pose
Marichyasana I Pose Dedicated to the Sage Marichi, I
Marichyasana III                  Marichi’s Pose
Marjaryasana      Cat Pose
Mayurasana         Peacock Pose
Navasana nava = a boat Boat Pose
Padansthasana   pada = foot, leg; angustha = big toe Big Toe Pose
Paripurna Navasana         Full Boat Pose
Parivrtta Ardha Chandrasana par-ee-vrit-tah are-dah chan-DRAHS-anna parivrtta = twist, revolve, turned around; ardha = half; Chandra = moon Revolved Half Moon Pose
Parivrtta Surya Yantrasana par-ee-vrit-tah parivrtta = twist, revolve, turned around; Compass Pose
Parsva Bakasana                   parsva = side, flank, lateral; Side Crane Pose, Side Crow Pose
Pasasana Noose Pose
Purvottanasana                    uttana = stretched out/over, an intense stretch Upward Plank Pose
Salamba Sarvangasana      sah-LOM-bah sar-van-GAHS-anna sa = with;
 alamba = support;  sarva = all; anga = limb Supported Shoulder stand
Salamba Sirsasana sah-LOM-bah shear-SHAHS-anna sa = with;
 alamba = support; sirsa = head Supported Headstand
Salambhasana sah-LOM-bah Locust Pose
Samasthiti sama = equal, same; asthiti = position, standing-place Mountain Pose
Supta Matsyendrasana mot-see-AH supta= resting, reclining, sleeping; matsya = fish; indra = ruler, lord Supine Spinal Twist
Surya Namaskar surya = sun; namas = to bow, salute, honor; kri = to do, make, act Sun Salutation
Svarga Dvijasana Bird of Paradise Pose
Tittibhasana        Firefly Pose
Tolasana                 Scale Pose
Urdhva Hastasana               Urdva = upward; hasta = hand Upward Salute, Raised Hands Pose
Urdhva Prasarita Eka Padasana    OORD-vah eka = one Urdva = upward; prasarita = spread out, expanded; pada = foot, leg Standing Split
Utkata Konasana cone-NAHS-anna utkatha = fierce; kona = angle Goddess or Victory Squat
Uttana Shishosana               uttana = stretched out/over, an intense stretch Extended Puppy Pose
Vasisthasana Side Plank Pose
Viparita Karani Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose
Virasana                 vira = a hero, brave Hero Pose
Vrschikasana Scorpion Pose
Yoga Nidrasana Sleeping Yogi Pose

 

love is the field

Aside

loveistheField

earlier today i was thinking of a man i’ve loved deeply since the day we met. today is his birthday and even after all this time, i don’t love him any less than the instant i melted into loving him completely. for a moment it felt bittersweet, as if he was “the love of my life” or that love like that is something singular and no longer available to my open heart, soft gaze or tender palms…

then i realized love is not an experience nor was my past lover a place that love was found and lost. love is not a contraction – something to hold onto or release…

love is a field of awareness that expands out to touch all that is – interconnected with everything else…

collected moments of rapture, a particular lover, all serve to touch into a pre-cellular memory of timelessness. they are a keyhole to glimpse into the landscape of the infinite that we so often blind ourselves to by so many distractions, contractions, the naming of things, regurgitation and re-stimulation of past hurts…

i want to be a storybook floor-to ceiling window, a highway to the infinite. i want that any seeker can wander through the broadway of my heart and land in the arms of the beloved, sweetly embraced by the entire cosmos, held unconditionally. whole. complete. loved entirely. viscerally at home.

love is the field. thinking (even for the briefest of moments) that it is lost with my past lover is like saying a mountain is no more because of the displacement of a single grain of sand. i have love. it is what i’m made of, where i come from and where i seek to forever return. heart emoticon

happy birthday beating heart of the collective consciousness. with you i will always remain

ps. i love you

pss. YOU.

YES! You.

♥,

~ artemisia shine

Support Starts From Within

Aside

Support Starts From Within

40 Day Journey: 40 Steps For Growth & Inner Freedom
Day 3: August 7, 2014

Salamba Sirsasana

When your world is turned up-side down, literally or figuratively, it is the perfect opportunity to re-orient the self back into stillness and awareness of breath. Right now, sense how your breath is influencing and shaping your mind. – (Salamba Sirsasana in my home studio in Arcata)

Salamba Sirsasana: Supported Headstand
(sah-LOM-bah shear-SHAHS-anna)
sa = with;
 alamba = support or that on which one rests or leans ; sirsa = the head

We do not exist within a vacuum. No organism alive is separate or distinct from its environment. We all need support from time to time and opening up to receive support is a masterful skill all it’s own. Today, for me support starts attitudinally from within. It starts with inviting in a deep sense of trust, surrender and remembrance that my body, mind and spirit already intrinsically know balance and all I need do is lean into the practices I already have on board to keep me moving forward, toward my dreams and goals, regardless of the obsticles along the way. In headstand, our world view is both physically and metaphorically flipped upside down.

Right now I am a couple hundred dollars shy of paying my rent. Rent was due on the 1st. My insurance was due on the first as well. Today is the 7th. My sense of being financially self-supporting through my own contributions is definitely under pressure. The nitty-gritty details of meeting my basic survival needs seem cattywonkus to say the least. I’m still smiling. I have been all day. I have a sense that life is just providing me a rich opportunity to become more skillful at remaining calm and grounded even when my world seems spun around. If nothing about my external circumstances are to change in the next 12 hours what internal landscape do I want to cultivate? Anxiety is no fun and it certainly won’t change anything. I would rather remain calm, take some action steps from a place of joy rather than panic and be ready for whatever shifts are coming next. I want to choose to enjoy my life, even if my external circomstances seem to be less than joyful. Salamba Sirsasana, or head stand, literally means with support of the head. Today has been about observing my head space and developing a quality of mindful presence that allows me to feel supported from within. No. Matter. What. Nothing is going to happen today that the universe and I can’t handle together. <3

I want to hear how you are you handling the challenging moments. How does your “head-space” serve to hinder or support you? How do you find support from within?

Go Ahead, Provoke Me!

Aside

Go Ahead, Provoke Me!

“Over time invite and create ever more provocative situations to deliberately trigger the psyche to be disturbed, to be challenged, to feel perhaps overwhelmed in order to strengthen your capacity to remain in the witness.  It’s easy to be peaceful when there’s not provocation. It’s not so easy where there is. Welcome to marriage. Welcome to children. Welcome to your life. Those provocations that are happening externally, are only reflections of our inner lack of clarity, lack of resolution. So, the yogi works internally.” ~Yogarupa Rod Stryker
(Moon & Sun Vinyasa: Mastering the Mind, Awakening the Vital Force, Nov. 15, 2013)

40 Day Journey: 40 Steps For Growth & Inner Freedom
Day 1: August 5, 2014

Trikonasana in marsh sunrise

Sometimes the biggest battle is getting out the door and onto the mat. The early morning dewy marsh air amply rewarded my effort. – Arcata Marsh & Wildlife Sanctuary 8:30am

Utthita Trikonasana : Extended Triangle Pose
(oo-TEE-tah trik cone-NAHS-anna)
utthita = extended; tri = three, kona = angle

“The three angles (tri konas in Sanskrit) of a triangle make it one of the stronger and most stable shapes in nature…The triangle pose represents many sacred trinities in our world, such as the trinity of earth, space and heavens or that of birth, life and death. Trikonasana also symbolizes the three gunas, or qualities, that compose our bodies and minds.” (p. 36) Alanna Kaivalya & Arjuna van der Kooij, Myths of the Asanas: The Stories at the Heart of the Yoga Tradition.)

As I was riding my bike to the studio to teach my morning Hatha Flow Class, I was listening to a workshop lecture I attended last year with Yogarupa Rod Stryker. The day before I had been momentarily deeply disturbed by some personal family drama with my son’s father. It was this disturbance that inspired me to proactively choose to take intentional steps in the direction of my own personal growth.

When life is comfortable and free from challenges, it is easy to get complacent in my personal practice and neglect my continued commitment to inner growth. This summer has been far from easy. Life has provided me so many delicious opportunities and reminders to not only return to the grounded space of calm that can view my life from a place of tranquility but also to notice, question and work with the mirror that my external circumstances are providing me. Tantric philosophy states that there is nothing outside my body that does not exist within my body. There is nothing within me that does not exist externally in the world. If I take the view that what is happening in my body is a mirror for what is happening in my life, than I can also see that what is happening in my life is a reflection of what is happening in my psyche. 

Back to my bike ride…

I had just finished a sweet early morning solo yoga practice at the Arcata Marsh and was arriving  at Om Shala Yoga 15 minutes early to meditate before teaching. As I crossed the front door I saw two of my students arriving on bikes and being verbally and physically threatened by a large gentleman who had left his truck in the middle of the street to get out and scream at them over some perceived right-of way indiscretion. This gentleman returned to his truck only to stop and get out 3 more times all the while threatening physical violence and property damage and warning them that he will “remember what their bikes look like.” At that moment I hear Rod Stryker in my ear saying “It’s easy to be peaceful when there’s no provocation.”

We all get provoked. How we handle it at any given moment is our yoga, is the practice of inner asana or posture. Life is challenging. Suffering is a noble truth. The yogi works from within. Regardless of whatever swirling mass of chaos or raucous celebration is present in our lives at any given moment – our ability to drop into the witness is directly proportional to our experience of grounded, calm, ever-present spaciousness and awareness.

I came into the world on fire. I seek not to drown my fire but instead to stabilize and create a pitim (or hearth) for that fire in the sacred temple of my body at the center of my belly. Practicing trikonasana is a way to physically plant our feet firmly in the earth and our awareness in the present moment while opening our hearts to the vastness within us alongside the support of the universe. The top hand reaching to the sky is a reminder to reach into the highest aspects within us as we connect our material self with the broader consciousness of the entire cosmos. The triangle is a messenger that no matter the pressures behind us or in front of us, we can plug into the inherent stability within and reconnect with the truth and beauty that we are.

Provocation is child’s play.
I say bring it on.
It’s just a training camp for the experience of inner divinity.

Just for today, how can you use whatever is provoking you to take one small step back home to yourself?

I’m on a 40 Day Journey for personal growth. I’m taking baby steps. One. At. A. Time. Read more about it and join me here.

 

The Journey Begins..

Aside

40 Day Journey – 40 Steps for Growth

“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

40StepsThis summer has been hard. Really hard. It is the first summer that my pre-teen son has not been in summer camp during the day; which mean he has been home. A lot. While I am working. (Or not working when I want to be doing the work I love. Which has also been tough. Really tough.) Financial challenges have both inspired my creativity and really forced me to come back to my breath and remember my relationship with the present moment. Moment. by. challenging. moment. I have been in panic, forgetfulness, remembrance and then celebration only to get up the next day and do it all over again.

I feel as if I am rounding a corner into the next incarnation of my life. I want to actively participate in my process as well as be in gratitude for whatever life has in store for me. I want to remember lila, or the divine play inherent the cosmic expanse as well as the everyday mundanity. I am an actor in my own life. I want to enter the stage with loving, proactive awareness.

Starting right now, I choose to consciously take one step each day, over the next 40 days, towards growth with myself through my yoga practice, in my relationship with my son, my dharma thru the work I do in the world & experiencing my childlike heart. I commit to one small, achievable action each day day to:

  • deepen my connection with my personal yoga practice
  • further my connection with my son
  • create professional growth and support/enhance my business
  • create a moment of wild abandon & childlike joy in my life
  • share love anonymously with a random member of my community

For accountability I will share my journey with you here and on my blog. I will end/(or re-begin) my 40 Day Journey by hosting a celebratory gathering on September 13, 2014. Please join me in this! What energy would you like to actively animate in the next 40 days? What small steps can you take now to walk in the direction of your own inner freedom?

The journey begins…

I want to come from love.

Aside

What I am focused on is how I want to show up for whatever lessons life provides me.

How do I want to show up in the Universe?

I want to be in love. I want to come from love. I want to be receptive and open to whatever life throws my way. I want to come from compassion and forgiveness. I trust that whatever life delivers me is both for my growth and pruning. I don’t seek to out-picture how I DO want to learn lessons because I choose not to use my mind to tell the dancing, singing, ever-expanding, pulsing force of living love how to bring me back home to me. So many of life’s richest lessons have come in a vehicle I would never have chosen (like being one of two women sharing a pregnancy with the father of my child at the same time) but have brought me so fully into the strength, tenderness and evolution of my own heart. (Lelainya– I am so glad you’re my soul sister!)

For me, to do so would be dropping into that place of egocentric thinking that layers judgment onto what is with the assessment of good, bad, better, worse, best. My aim is to open wide and soften into whatever life offers me. What is most paramount is trust and just showing up with presence for whatever hapens
as.
it.
arrives.

When I stated “I don’t need to learn these lessons like this in the future (listen up universe! I’m receptive already! I’m receptive! hehe!) but thank you for this opportunity now.” I am really affirming, ”Ok – I surrender. I get it. Thank you. I trust you. I love you. I surrender.“ It is more about aligning my will with the will of the entire sacred cosmos of which I am a part. I see the perfection and beauty in the dynamic interactions that accompany relationship and lived experience. I didn’t come here to realize myself sitting alone in mediation. (But boy, does meditation help!) I came here to see, touch, taste, smell – experience fully in the sacred vessel of my body.

From that place of absolute spaciousness and limitless freedom that is ever present from within – I say “yes!” and “thank you.” I will remain open and receptive.

~ artemisia shine

Called to the Dance Floor

Aside

photo

This made me laugh. The uninsured motorist who slammed into my car and gave me two forms of fake insurance is now filing an injury and vehicle damage claim against me thru my insurance company. Hahahahahaha! I really feel for him. On some level I feel angered by this and have a desire for more integrity and accountability. In a larger sense, I am grateful that I am in relationship with the universe in a way that inspires me to make different choices. I sent him a sweet picture of my painted car with a Hafitz poem last week. I still stand by it.

Ultimately, this is a big gift. I get to actively choose to respond from a place of rigorous honesty, compassion, forgiveness and love. This senario is absolutely calling me to be in integrity and look at the places within myself where I am not. I humbly state that I don’t need to learn these lessons like this in the future (listen up universe! I’m receptive already! I’m receptive! hehe!) but thank you for this opportunity now.  I get to actively unravel my own karmic samskara bit by bit.

Even as a look at my broken car, feel my (temporarily) injured body and experience small wisps of fear cross my mind about what else this man may be capable of, I get to CHOOSE to TRUST.  It’s like this whole experience is the universe tenderly calling me onto the dance floor. I get to be led by the most skillful dance partner! I get to surrender into the warmest strongest embrace I’ve ever known and discover what it is to be truly held. I am so open to and already receiving support in limitless ways I have yet to imagine.

I forgive this man. I wish him well. I hope whatever place in his heart that inspires such unconscious action is filled with sweet tender warmth. Really. This is frustrating me still but I won’t judge myself as the waves of frustration move through me. The love is bigger and carries more weight. 

~ artemisia shine

Courage to Marry Forgiveness

Aside

Before and after. Ahhh, feels so much sweeter.
PicMonkey Collage

My inner response to the driver who was uninsured and provided two forms of false insurance after plowing into my car: I am calling in the support I need to fix this. My insurance does not cover my car but I am holding hands with the universe and she has me in the most tender embrace. I forgive you. May you be cared for, live with peace in your heart and have all that you need.

love,
~ artemisia shine

—

The moon starts singing
When everyone is asleep
And the planets throw a bright robe
Around their shoulders and whirl up
Close to her side.

Once I asked the moon,
Why do you and your sweet friends
Not perform so romantically like that
To a larger crowd?

And the whole sky chorus resounded,

“The admission price to hear
The lofty minstrels
Speak of love

Is affordable only to those
Who have not exhausted themselves
Dividing God all day
And thus need rest.

The thrilled Tavern fiddlers
Who are perched on the roof

Do not want their notes to intrude
Upon the ears
Where an accountant lives
With a sharp pencil
Keeping score of words
Another
In their great sorrow or sad anger
May have once said
To you.”

Hafiz knows:
The sun will stand as your best man
And whistle
When you have found the courage
To marry forgiveness

When you have found the courage
to marry
Love.

~ Hafiz

—

I sent this to the driver as an offering along with an invitation to choose to act with accountability and provide financial support to help us acquire a vehicle.

However he responds (or not) is perfect. In the face of so much community feedback to hire a lawer, this feels so much more in alignment with me.

Most importantly: It was SO FUN to do!

~ artemisia shine

Soulstice

Aside

soulstice
~ by drew dellinger

every ounce of matter is frozen light
roses, clouds, bones, tears
all slowly moving light

everything is shining in glory
everything
singing a story

every second in the universe a supernova is
exploding
every second a star is shattering

and flames leaping off the moon
last night

like binary stars we
circle
each other

and the more I
see of you
the more I love the view

let me be a fierce clear mirror
in a cosmos made of passions….

If love is a language
then I am still
learning to spell
while there’s a story
that the stars
have been
burning to tell.