chasing dreams



chasing dreams
feeling the joy,
and wonder 
alive in this wayward adventure

some dreams are wooed in silence,
the movement, imperceptible
while wild rivers rage within,
carelessly littering the shoreline with the murky detritus of castaway identities, fragmented beliefs, obsolete ways of being,
festering old stories pregnant with pain
all flotsam and jetsam that dash against the heart

dreams levee against the threat of flood

my heart stays constant.

chasing dreams can feel like being caught in an an unexpected current,
moments from drowning
as all the rage and anguish rise to the surface to violently clear all obstacles in her path

and still my heart beats
within this chest cavity
contained by my flesh
surrounded by a body that is all my own
two feet on the ground, making contact with earth
home. right here. ALIVE.

i’m supposed to be HERE doing and feeling THIS
(and so are you.)

some dreams i don’t chase at all
but in the twilight hours while much of the world is sleeping,
weaving away at their own brilliant dreams…

with a child like heart, wakefully i sing to them.

and sometimes when i’m really really lucky
some other tender dreamer
joins me in that late night song

~ artemisia shine


ps. i love you. really.
i do.

Reiki and the “Perfect” Moment


Grrrrr. Oh yes, we can get petty.

This is not the Cleaver family… Oh yes, we can get petty.

Last night my teenage son asked me to reiki him.
I can count on one hand the amount of times he has made this request. I have offered many times when he is in pain or struggling with something but usually I get a swift and clear “no.” When I get a “yes” it is usually a “yes, but maybe later” and the later never comes. Yesterday evening the timing was rough; I was exhausted, irritable, we had been arguing and were generally discontent. (Actually, I was probably more discontent with him. I tend to hold onto the feelings of Gggrrrrrrrrrr far longer than he does.) I had shit to do. It was inconvenient. It was late. I had clients to respond to. I wasn’t internally at peace. I wanted him to go to bed.
All that aside, I said yes. His asking is such a rare event that it necessitated me to pause, re-organize from the inside, release my irritation and pettiness and recognize the gift of his asking. My burning desire is to to deeply and compassionatly show up for him AND show up for myself. Navigating the two sometimes feels like walking on a tight-rope balanced over a pit of hungry lions. The hungry lions are my expectations of him and myself, my limitations as a single-mama and fallible human being. They feed on my shame, guilt, exhaustion, resentment, self-judgment and inner reproach… (And that’s the short list!) I would love to tell you that we easily navigate this territory and I show up as super-mom all the fucking time. The truth is, I fall short of my own expectations far more often than I rise to the occasion and being human is one of my biggest flaws I have yet to consistently accept.
Reiki is love. Sharing reiki is intimate, unconditional, soft and receptive. Reiki asks me to trust and allow life energy to flow thru me, free from resistance and with the tenderest of full-body presence. It is interesting to note how much harder and more vulnerable it is to share this part of myself with my closest friends and family. Stranger in need of support and some reiki? No problem! Where do I sign up? Someone I really love asking for hands-on-healing attention? Eeeeekkk!!! Aaaggghhh!!! (What if I’m not good enough? What if they don’t feel anything? What if it doesn’t ‘work’? What if they don’t like it? What if they judge me? What if… [insert any number of questions that invalidate my worth and question my lovability and gifts.]) When my loved ones want reiki, I tend to want to wait for the perfect moment when I am just the right balance of calm, grounded, rested, spacious, internally at peace and full from the inside out. In other words, I want to wait until I am perfect. I keep trying for it but the bar keeps getting higher and I haven’t arrived there yet. 
Sooooo…. With all that running in the background, I got him on my table, put my hands on him and flowed reiki wherever it wanted to go. I would love to tell you it was magical and we shared this really sweet, connective, transformative moment. In reality I was stilted and awkward. I fumbled around and accidentally flung my tuning forks across the room in a cacophony of clanging mayhem. My stool slid out from under me and I stumbled into the table. He responded by laughing and saying “Wow Mom. That’s relaxing! 😉 Good thing it’s me and I’m not one of your clients!”
I wanted for him to drop in, deeply relax and settle into his body. Instead, he talked the whole time, kept his eyes open, wiggled around and sometimes grabbed my hands and adjusted my touch. 
He talked the whole time.
He never got silent.
He shared about his history class and the things he is inspired to learn in his new school. He shared gratitude for some of the boundaries I have had with him that he previously resisted. (“I am sooooo glad you have limited my sugar intake and not let me eat junk food and soda growing up! I just watched Fed Up! and the amount of sugar in those things is horrifying!”) He asked me to watch a documentary with him that he found particularly compelling. As he talked about his day to day experience of middle school, I realized that lately I haven’t made the time and space to really listen. He talked the whole time. I got a chance to really listen.
He kept his eyes open.
Much of the time his eyes were on me. When I let my gaze soften he smiled and looked directly into my eyes. He initiated and maintained eye contact while I was reiki-ing him, belly up on my massage table. He was vulnerable and soft without my having to ask for it. This is a teenage being that has shared with me so many times how ‘intense and piercing’ my direct eye contact is. This is a kid that generally avoids sustained eye gaze – especially with me, especially because I crave it. He kept his eyes open, let them meet mine, and voluntarily chose to rest them there.
He wiggled around and adjusted my touch.
My itty-bitty-shitty-committee tried to hold court in my mind. I had a story running that maybe I was doing it wrong (judging myself) or that he was resistant and un-receptive (judging him.) At some point I realized he was letting me know exactly what he needed and in moving my hands he was asking for just that. He was valuing himself enough to get his needs met and trusting me enough to let me know how to help. This is a person that I deeply love and this person is showing me how to do just that in the way that would support them the most. He gave himself permission to adjust my touch and I got the opportunity to meet his requests. <3
This morning as he was cooking a fried egg inside the cookie-cutter star removed hole in his toast, he leaned over the fry pan and said, “You know Mom, I actually feel better. I tend to dismiss reiki as “woo-woo” but it actually worked. My headache is gone. My back doesn’t hurt anymore. I slept really well and I feel a lot more calm. Thank you. I guess reiki works; it really helped.”

I couldn’t help but smile from the inside out. “You’re welcome baby. I am happy to reiki you as often as you like.” And you know what? I meant it. Even though he talked the whole time, kept his eyes open, wiggled around and sometimes grabbed my hands and adjusted my touch, I really meant it. Maybe there is no perfect magical moment ripe for transcendent connection other than the ordinary opportunities that present themselves in the midst of our daily chaos. Maybe I don’t need to be super-mom or super-human. Maybe being fallible is the best I have to offer and it actually can be enough. Maybe showing up for all of that is exactly what sweet, connective, transformative moments look like for us. <3

~ artemisia shine

Artemisia Shine is an Intuitive Healer, Yoga Therapist, Reiki Master, Counselor & Day Maker. She works with individuals and groups as a transformational ally. She LOVES helping people honor the intelligence of their hearts, reconnect with their innate body-wisdom & live in enthusiastic alignment with their soul-level desires. At the time of this writing, she still contends with being human and has to put on her tights on one leg at a time. 

love is the field



earlier today i was thinking of a man i’ve loved deeply since the day we met. today is his birthday and even after all this time, i don’t love him any less than the instant i melted into loving him completely. for a moment it felt bittersweet, as if he was “the love of my life” or that love like that is something singular and no longer available to my open heart, soft gaze or tender palms…

then i realized love is not an experience nor was my past lover a place that love was found and lost. love is not a contraction – something to hold onto or release…

love is a field of awareness that expands out to touch all that is – interconnected with everything else…

collected moments of rapture, a particular lover, all serve to touch into a pre-cellular memory of timelessness. they are a keyhole to glimpse into the landscape of the infinite that we so often blind ourselves to by so many distractions, contractions, the naming of things, regurgitation and re-stimulation of past hurts…

i want to be a storybook floor-to ceiling window, a highway to the infinite. i want that any seeker can wander through the broadway of my heart and land in the arms of the beloved, sweetly embraced by the entire cosmos, held unconditionally. whole. complete. loved entirely. viscerally at home.

love is the field. thinking (even for the briefest of moments) that it is lost with my past lover is like saying a mountain is no more because of the displacement of a single grain of sand. i have love. it is what i’m made of, where i come from and where i seek to forever return. heart emoticon

happy birthday beating heart of the collective consciousness. with you i will always remain

ps. i love you

pss. YOU.

YES! You.


~ artemisia shine

Give Your Love Away!


Give Your Love Away!

40 Day Journey: 40 Steps For Growth & Inner Freedom
Day 6: August 10, 2014

love offerings are fun!

Under the veil of night, Post-it love messages and poetry rocks adorn random doorsteps to be found in the morning by unknown residents. Another evening, a dear friend & I thoroughly enjoyed slinking into the drama section of a neighborhood video store to leave this gift behind.

Since Aug. 5th I’ve been on a personal 40 Day Journey and each day I am taking a step in the direction of growth in five specific areas in my life. One of these daily steps is to share love anonymously with a random member of the community. Hands down, this has been the most joyful part of my journey thus far!  Each day, I have busted out my colorful markers and pens, scoured my house and the surrounding environment for special items to share and gotten crafty creating small packages of love to anonymously leave around the community for someone to find.

At first I chose not to share this particular step in my journey publicly because the joy of dancing in my creative fire and imaging someone delightedly stumbling upon my anonymous gift was treasure enough. Truly, each day as I take this step, I feel like a kindergartener at sunrise on Christmas morning still in my long fuzzy footie-pajamas rushing under the twinkling tree to see what gifts have appeared over night. The only difference is, now the excitement and childlike wonder is in the giving.

So why am breaking the anonymity silence? The answer is simple: mirror neurons. When I am teaching a yoga class and I notice a student particularly struggling with their breath (forgetting to breath, jagged breathing etc.) I often walk next to them and take a moment to align my breath with theirs and then shift to a more subtle, steady breath. More often than not, their breath follows suit without me saying a word. Our brains are hard-wired for mimicry and whether we are conscious of it or not, we are learning from, engaging with and neurologically mirroring each others behaviors, thoughts, and emotions all the time. We are highly complex social animals that are neurologically built to observe, learn from, connect and empathize with the lived experience of those around us. 

When we are inspired by what we see people doing around us, we often feel the resulting pleasurable emotions as if we have taken this action ourselves. Just think of how you respond when you watch your favorite sports icon make a game-changing slam dunk at the last pivotal moment, or score that winning touch down — even if you were only watching it on television. Better yet, remember how you’ve felt when you watched a child you adore successfully attempt to do something for the very first time. If you could see your reaction through a video camera, most likely you were rapt with attention, visually mimicking their emotions and flooded with love upon their achievement. Your body stores its own memories of you having lived this experience and your neurons are firing signals as if you were doing this action yourself!  Joy, excitement, relief, pride, awe. All of it = a greater experience of love. So for this, I am sharing this step and inviting you to walk with me either by feeling my own joy as I write about it here or by finding fun and playful ways to anonymously give love all over your community. 

Photo Aug 10, 5 29 11 PM

“If you found me, you must have been calling in love! Look how magical you are!” A highly decorated gift certificate waits for a hungry diner to discover en route to a local Arcata grill.

Lead by example. Give love like it’s all you’re here to do today. (Pssst… I’ve got a secret for you: it is! Pass it on.) Imagine the waterfall effect if it became the norm to find a parking citation envelope on your windshield with a love note inside instead of a ticket. “Took longer than you thought? We’ve all been there. I went ahead and paid your ticket just because I KNOW you are awesome. Whoever you are, have a great day!” How might it turn your day around to be grumpy and rushed at the grocery store check-out and to have the clerk say “Hey, I see you’re having a tough time. An anonymous customer bought this cookie and asked me give it to you with love.” This doesn’t have to cost a dime either. We can decorate rocks, shells, leaves, (whatever your imagination can divine) with heart-warming quotes or favorite poems and wrap them up with care and color to be found by passers-by on window-sills, bathroom sinks, hospital waiting rooms and coffee shop tables. We can notice someone looking for a parking space behind us and choose to drive past that prime spot and give it to them. That’s what I’m up to. I could say it’s an act of giving love with no need for return but that is a fallacy. The return is in the giving. 

Fun ways to anonymously give some love:

  • Leave movie tickets on a chair at a restaurant – How ’bout dinner AND a movie!
  • Collect overhanging flowers in your neighborhood & leave them tied in a bow on a random doorstep
  • Gift wrap your favorite used book with a love note and leave it on a park bench
  • Hang healthy homemade bird treats in a neighborhood tree
  • Leave a mixed CD with a friendly note at a gas station bay or rest stop
  • Leave bubbles & sidewalk chalk at a local playground
  • Make a hygiene care package (toothpaste, toothbrush, tissue, soap, hand sanitizer, deodorant, socks, a pen and a small journal) at a local bus/train station or under freeway overpasses

Wanna join me?

Think mirror neurons are cool and want to learn more: check this out!

Have a heart inspiring story of someone anonymously sharing love with you? I want to hear it!


~ artemisia shine

ps. MC Yogi knows what’s up!

Support Starts From Within


Support Starts From Within

40 Day Journey: 40 Steps For Growth & Inner Freedom
Day 3: August 7, 2014

Salamba Sirsasana

When your world is turned up-side down, literally or figuratively, it is the perfect opportunity to re-orient the self back into stillness and awareness of breath. Right now, sense how your breath is influencing and shaping your mind. – (Salamba Sirsasana in my home studio in Arcata)

Salamba Sirsasana: Supported Headstand
(sah-LOM-bah shear-SHAHS-anna)
sa = with;
 alamba = support or that on which one rests or leans ; sirsa = the head

We do not exist within a vacuum. No organism alive is separate or distinct from its environment. We all need support from time to time and opening up to receive support is a masterful skill all it’s own. Today, for me support starts attitudinally from within. It starts with inviting in a deep sense of trust, surrender and remembrance that my body, mind and spirit already intrinsically know balance and all I need do is lean into the practices I already have on board to keep me moving forward, toward my dreams and goals, regardless of the obsticles along the way. In headstand, our world view is both physically and metaphorically flipped upside down.

Right now I am a couple hundred dollars shy of paying my rent. Rent was due on the 1st. My insurance was due on the first as well. Today is the 7th. My sense of being financially self-supporting through my own contributions is definitely under pressure. The nitty-gritty details of meeting my basic survival needs seem cattywonkus to say the least. I’m still smiling. I have been all day. I have a sense that life is just providing me a rich opportunity to become more skillful at remaining calm and grounded even when my world seems spun around. If nothing about my external circumstances are to change in the next 12 hours what internal landscape do I want to cultivate? Anxiety is no fun and it certainly won’t change anything. I would rather remain calm, take some action steps from a place of joy rather than panic and be ready for whatever shifts are coming next. I want to choose to enjoy my life, even if my external circomstances seem to be less than joyful. Salamba Sirsasana, or head stand, literally means with support of the head. Today has been about observing my head space and developing a quality of mindful presence that allows me to feel supported from within. No. Matter. What. Nothing is going to happen today that the universe and I can’t handle together. <3

I want to hear how you are you handling the challenging moments. How does your “head-space” serve to hinder or support you? How do you find support from within?

Cycling with the moon



Oh life – you got my heart so deeply today. I get to ride the waves of my woman-heart: sensitive, feeling, tender, receptive and deep. Remembering those I love that have passed, loved ones that are distant, the years, youth and memories that are behind me now… Waining moon, as you become new, you so consistently seduce all that lays beneath the surface into the soft glow of my own inner attention. This afternoon my heart cracked open and I shed a few quiet tears for the achingly sweet experience of just being alive.

Thank you moon cycle within that mirrors the drawing in and reflecting out cycle of luna in the sky. Each month you bring me back to myself so intimately. You softly rock me into remembrance and caress all that “I” am in your loving embrace. I am just like you – a micro-collective of cosmic matter hanging on to the edge of a planet that hurls through space as it orbits a sun that dances in one of untold billions of galaxies swirling around in the infinitely expanding universe. In one word, I am love.

Constant renewal: this is the sacred gift of being woman.

I hold you all in my heart. Blessings and love from my depths.

love love love

~ artemisia shine

I want to come from love.


What I am focused on is how I want to show up for whatever lessons life provides me.

How do I want to show up in the Universe?

I want to be in love. I want to come from love. I want to be receptive and open to whatever life throws my way. I want to come from compassion and forgiveness. I trust that whatever life delivers me is both for my growth and pruning. I don’t seek to out-picture how I DO want to learn lessons because I choose not to use my mind to tell the dancing, singing, ever-expanding, pulsing force of living love how to bring me back home to me. So many of life’s richest lessons have come in a vehicle I would never have chosen (like being one of two women sharing a pregnancy with the father of my child at the same time) but have brought me so fully into the strength, tenderness and evolution of my own heart. (Lelainya– I am so glad you’re my soul sister!)

For me, to do so would be dropping into that place of egocentric thinking that layers judgment onto what is with the assessment of good, bad, better, worse, best. My aim is to open wide and soften into whatever life offers me. What is most paramount is trust and just showing up with presence for whatever hapens

When I stated “I don’t need to learn these lessons like this in the future (listen up universe! I’m receptive already! I’m receptive! hehe!) but thank you for this opportunity now.” I am really affirming, ”Ok – I surrender. I get it. Thank you. I trust you. I love you. I surrender.“ It is more about aligning my will with the will of the entire sacred cosmos of which I am a part. I see the perfection and beauty in the dynamic interactions that accompany relationship and lived experience. I didn’t come here to realize myself sitting alone in mediation. (But boy, does meditation help!) I came here to see, touch, taste, smell – experience fully in the sacred vessel of my body.

From that place of absolute spaciousness and limitless freedom that is ever present from within – I say “yes!” and “thank you.” I will remain open and receptive.

~ artemisia shine

Called to the Dance Floor



This made me laugh. The uninsured motorist who slammed into my car and gave me two forms of fake insurance is now filing an injury and vehicle damage claim against me thru my insurance company. Hahahahahaha! I really feel for him. On some level I feel angered by this and have a desire for more integrity and accountability. In a larger sense, I am grateful that I am in relationship with the universe in a way that inspires me to make different choices. I sent him a sweet picture of my painted car with a Hafitz poem last week. I still stand by it.

Ultimately, this is a big gift. I get to actively choose to respond from a place of rigorous honesty, compassion, forgiveness and love. This senario is absolutely calling me to be in integrity and look at the places within myself where I am not. I humbly state that I don’t need to learn these lessons like this in the future (listen up universe! I’m receptive already! I’m receptive! hehe!) but thank you for this opportunity now.  I get to actively unravel my own karmic samskara bit by bit.

Even as a look at my broken car, feel my (temporarily) injured body and experience small wisps of fear cross my mind about what else this man may be capable of, I get to CHOOSE to TRUST.  It’s like this whole experience is the universe tenderly calling me onto the dance floor. I get to be led by the most skillful dance partner! I get to surrender into the warmest strongest embrace I’ve ever known and discover what it is to be truly held. I am so open to and already receiving support in limitless ways I have yet to imagine.

I forgive this man. I wish him well. I hope whatever place in his heart that inspires such unconscious action is filled with sweet tender warmth. Really. This is frustrating me still but I won’t judge myself as the waves of frustration move through me. The love is bigger and carries more weight. 

~ artemisia shine

Courage to Marry Forgiveness


Before and after. Ahhh, feels so much sweeter.
PicMonkey Collage

My inner response to the driver who was uninsured and provided two forms of false insurance after plowing into my car: I am calling in the support I need to fix this. My insurance does not cover my car but I am holding hands with the universe and she has me in the most tender embrace. I forgive you. May you be cared for, live with peace in your heart and have all that you need.

~ artemisia shine

The moon starts singing
When everyone is asleep
And the planets throw a bright robe
Around their shoulders and whirl up
Close to her side.

Once I asked the moon,
Why do you and your sweet friends
Not perform so romantically like that
To a larger crowd?

And the whole sky chorus resounded,

“The admission price to hear
The lofty minstrels
Speak of love

Is affordable only to those
Who have not exhausted themselves
Dividing God all day
And thus need rest.

The thrilled Tavern fiddlers
Who are perched on the roof

Do not want their notes to intrude
Upon the ears
Where an accountant lives
With a sharp pencil
Keeping score of words
In their great sorrow or sad anger
May have once said
To you.”

Hafiz knows:
The sun will stand as your best man
And whistle
When you have found the courage
To marry forgiveness

When you have found the courage
to marry

~ Hafiz

I sent this to the driver as an offering along with an invitation to choose to act with accountability and provide financial support to help us acquire a vehicle.

However he responds (or not) is perfect. In the face of so much community feedback to hire a lawer, this feels so much more in alignment with me.

Most importantly: It was SO FUN to do!

~ artemisia shine

September 11th, Violence and Love


September 11th, Violence and Love

lovemakeslifeI was pregnant with my love child just weeks after September 11th. I remember protesting US government violence in the middle east with a swollen belly and a broken heart. I’ve often wondered about the “American” children en utero at that time. How was it for them to grow cells, develop organs, to feel the collective fear, anger, morning and horror of that moment in history? My womb did not protect my son from the chemical warfare of my sympathetic nervous system.

And then I think of all the pregnant mamas and babies living in the world who wake up to the sounds of warfare every morning — for generations. Places where every child born develops alongside that fear, that violence, that despair – except that it is unrelenting. And it’s next-door, or worse it’s where your house and family used to stand.

I seek to uncover the violence, the anger, the repulsion, the fear within me that keeps me from acting in love. This morning I am grateful that my young son is still asleep in his bed. He is sick and it’s 10:00am. He has a warm bed in a quiet neighborhood where he can take the time to recover. We have privilege beyond our own awareness.

“Wanting to reform the world without discovering one’s true self, is like trying to cover the whole world with leather to avoid the pain of walking on stones and thorns…” — Ramana Maharshi

I love you this morning. I love you yesterday. I love you tomorrow, and it starts from within.


2001/2002 – Growin’ a Bodhi Shine in my belly.


~ artemisia shine