Yes! Yes! Yes!
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman
In the past five months my heart has been roaring during my wakefulness, composing sonnets in my sleep, whispering sweet encouragement when I tremble and serenading me each time I meditate. That’s my heart for yah. She’s pretty wild, courageous, optimistic and deep. Working with people in the arena of personal wellness and healing feels like a big full body “YES!” I know with every cell in my being that this is my life’s work.
Still, there’s this sharp prattling creature of a mind full of fear, shame, hesitation, financial insecurities and a healthy dose of occasional self-doubt. What if you don’t find what I offer worthwhile? Every time she comes to gnaw at my dreams and undermine my efforts I call her a slew of names. Nothing I couldn’t say in a studio full of 5-year old yogis – just naming what she is: “thinking.” Thinking, self-doubt, anger, fear, resentment, insecurity… I’ve been whittling her claws down calling her by name and although she still sinks her teeth in from time to time, lately she isn’t making any serious flesh wounds.
This month I am embarking on a journey of becoming a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy Practitioner. Over the next ten months I will be travelling to Canada and Vermont to attend a host of intensives. Even as I write this I have no clue how I’m going to get to British Columbia in less than 10 days. To throw in an extra measure of awesomeness, days after my first PRYT training, I am registered to study with my favorite teacher, Chrisandra Fox Walker, in her 60 hour Tantra Yoga Immersion in San Francisco. My vehicle registration is expired and I’ve got a boot on my car that just ate up my plane ticket funds. I’m not certain how I’ll pay for gas, I don’t know where I’m going to sleep, I’m not sure how I’ll navigate the trainings after that… What I do know is that I believe deeply in the work and I hear the small deep tenor of my heart singing a resounding “Yes!” Over, and over, “Yes!”
This week has been a great opportunity to practice equanimity, faith, and creativity. This is my yoga. All I have to do is listen in for guidance and show up with all of me: fear and courage in tow. These minor obstacles are a magical invitation to reaffirm my commitment to my path. I live to reveal whatever it is that dims my heart’s shine.
So – here I go! I’m on a mission to put myself out of a day job and unlock deeper avenues of healing in my community and myself. Yes! Thank you all for your support!
~ artemisia shine
From Artemisia Shine’s March 2013 Newsletter: Issue # 01